Well, truth is I’ve been gambling. There’s a lot on my chest and this week I felt like going to bed and crying. Eventually, I didn’t. I kept on trying to be focused on using my daily process list i.e. wake up, some exercise, cold exposure, shower, meditation and start working with 45 mins of waking up. And then (and this is new) my process this week (after establishing it) was basically about putting in what I’ve been doing until now but without really having a plan and checkmarking it as day goes along. Without having a plan that’s written down I didn’t give myself opportunity to critically think about what I’ve been doing and does it make sense? Well, I’ve given myself the opportunity just yesterday (after following daily checklist plan that’s printed out) and I realized that what I’ve been doing was -EV speaking delicately, and more like gambling really. The funny thing is, that if I checked my trades I would have known that/discovered that earlier. But I was too much of a pussy to do that and face the truth. Now, it’s not so bad because there are trades that made me money but those are trades on which I spend less time, think about them less and oversee less cause I just let them ride. But where I lose money comes after a process where I check ~200 stocks daily and then categorize them based on what I see from 1-2 charts quickly if there’s an opportunity during upcoming trading session. Make sense but:
- I’ve been using same list without updating it for year/two? I mean, big tech was there etc., major stocks, tech, semis and many more categories and subcategories (dozens maybe). But I missed out on new things like quantum computing and the whole wave. Well, I just didn’t know about it lol; I was so much in my list bubble.
- Not having backtested and or automated strategy. Like, I would get in at open
- Too many trades. I would open 5-10 positions (at open mind you…) and set small SLs and get knocked out whereas trade could actually work out intraday
- Not knowing fundamentals. Yea, I don’t check. I’m telling myself that I don’t have info, have to set API blah blah but I can also sign up to something like gurufocus or something and be able to scan something quickly based on some data, graphs and absorb in a 1 min. It’s like looking at charts which I did for some time (and it gets faster to read) and probably with financials the same.
- Not updating my knowledge on the company. I just don’t read the news. I’m not sure why? I think waste of time? I should set a process to check it for 5 mins per trade and that’s it. And how I would use that time is up to me, but I set a timer and check around. And eventually, I’ll get a better solution overtime to check and improve.
Another thing that the money I make on trades is typically when having knowledge about company, market sentiment around it, technical analysis etc., and not when I just get cut on the open. And worst thing is that I had a trading list what positions to open. But instead, I looked at other tickers, jumped on them and lost money while the previous tickers were ‘unattended’ (if thats the word?).
I also don’t check and monitor entries. How I missed out for example with with BABA. I had the stock at good price level thinking that this is bottoming out and wanted to be long, but then mid Jan I got SL’ed (3%?) and never got back and missed 20-25% move and maybe some leverage options. What’s the lesson here? Correct watchlist and a process for monitoring entries where I filter a table daily. And in this case, I would be watching BABA and maybe 10-20 other stocked marked as ‘daily’ frequency to be displayed to the user basically every day, while the rest of the tickers (how many hundreds) can still be there but with greater frequency value i.e. to show to user every 7 or 14 or 28 days up to 365? Cause there’s no point for me to look at something that has been trading in a tight range daily EVERY SINGLE DAY. Right? And so, I won’t. Alert is set and that’s it. That info should be in table too. Ok…
And a cherry on top -> I’ve trading when I was high and losing money in the process. It was more exciting to gamble that way (who doesn’t like gambling and drugs?) but that’s not how I can make money (sad about it). So the only way I can do that is being sober, focused, organized and treating it like a profession. I simply cannot allow myself to miss out on a f stock that I think has potential to explode. I missed it? wtf? I wouldn’t rise in an organization as a trader if I missed out – then wtf am I doing, really? So… I need to pull myself together. Funny thing is that I’m high now (so much easier to bear the pain; not sure if I could do it sober to write about it). In my defense, thc/cbd helped me trade as well cause before I was paralyzed, full of fear. One of the best books I’ve recently read is six pillars of self-esteem and it was this month where I realized how my low self-esteem affects me, my trading etc., Now I’m reading “Mountain is you” which is about self-sabotage. I mean, if 1% makes it as traders, then it’s good to run on good hardware and so I’m addressing these issues i.e. working on self-responsbility/assertiveness and something else… keeping a log/journal. Honestly, shit works for self-esteem when I address all the bs I don’t wanna do first thing in the morning instead of putting it off and then thinking about it and feeling bad that I’m not doing. One time my boss said to me “You need to be on top of this” – and for some reason that just impacted me because deep inside I was afraid to be on top of shit and deal with people in direct, collaborate way but I also knew it’s the right way. Right now I want to be on top of ‘this’ where ‘this’ is bs nobody likes or like Mark Twain said ‘a frog’ to be eaten (eat frogs first thing in the morning – or sth like that).
Pfff… what else. Yes, I’m high but I’ll be coding and working on my platform. Yes. I built my platform from 0. I created a f process/system to follow daily and one of the points was to analyze all tickers via my application. I built it 3 days during last week. If I attempted this 2 years ago it would take me a year (coz I was a programming beginner and no AI to help). Ok. So, till next time I guess. Sober up, stop gambling, create and use platform that would provide stream of opportunities and take them in a swing trade manner and or key levels following events & volume. And react when alerts are received and/or actively look for entry positions for stocks I should be monitoring. That’s f it.
Don’t feel like writing anymore. bye bye
What does AI think? bye bye
